BP Type II

Daily Log 12/12/04

Sorry it's been so long without a post.  I was away from my blog and I took the opportunity for some real back sliding.  Frankly, I'm embarrassed.  I fell into the self delusional belief that I said I never would.  I thought I was cured.  Didn't workout as much, cheated on the diet some, and started playing with some old obsessive thoughts.

Daily Log November 30, 2004

OK, I'm back in the saddle again.  It's been a crazy few weeks (no pun intended).  I am finally close to caught up at work, so that's something in the positive column.  However, my grandfather is having to move into a nursing home, he's sad about that and so am I.  Unfortunately it really is the best option for him, his body just doesn't work anymore.  a task as simple as changing his clothes takes half an hour.  Finally, I've been contemplating chucking the employee lifestyle and striking out on my own.

This last part has really been the sticking point.  When you contemplate that kind of life altering course everyone around you immediately thinks, "oh oh mania".

Daily Log 11/28/04

Please accept my apologies.  I have had a strange couple of weeks with some work issues, holidays and a loved ones hospitalization.  Posting will begin again in earnest tomorrow.

Detecting BP in kids

I was asked if I had noticed any BP tendencies in my two sons (ages 3 and 1).  I haven't, and I am feeling good about their chances of not having to deal with this crap at all.  According to New Hope for Bipolar the chances of BP being passed from BP parent to child are actually much smaller than I thought.

First, and foremost, if you see any behavior that is out of the ordinary with your kids, get a professional evaluation.  BP is tricky and the earlier it's found the better chance they have of dealing with it.

If one parent is BP there is a 7% chance the child will be BP and an 11% of suffering from depression.  Adding up to an 18% chance of any kind of depressive disorder.  It was of some comfort to me to find out that they have a good chance of not getting this to deal with.  However, even if they do get it, they will have me as a resource on how to deal with the illness, I wish I had had something like that.

When did I accept my diagnosis?

I was asked recently when I accepted the fact I was BP.  It was only relatively recently.  I was first diagnosed when I was 14 sometime in 1986 or 87.  I was treated with tri-cyclic anti-depressants.  It's since been found that in some BPs these ADs can actually cause rapid cycling, and increase the frequency of cycles for those who are already rapid cycling.  I apparently was one of the lucky ones in this category, and my cycles really took off as I started high school.

Following this experience, I really lost faith in the medical profession as a whole.  and for the next 17 years if I was feeling particularly down, I'd go manipulate a doc to give me ADs and then go on my merry way seemingly "cured."  This pattern continued for those 17 years.

Daily Log 11/17/04

No Daily Log for yesterday, however I am resuming today.  Wednesday is a busy time.  Full day of work followed by a two hour drive to my therapist.  Sounds stupid to go to someone that far away, but he's the only one I've ever trusted enough to be honest with, so I guess I will keep driving.

I am one of the least patient people you will ever meet.  Consequently there very idea of therapy is painful for me.  It's such a gradual process.  Each session I keep hoping to walk out of it a-OK and magically cured.  I don't of course, and I know I am not supposed to, but I still hope.

Lawyers Weekly USA: Feature Article

Link: Lawyers Weekly USA: Feature Article.

A blurb regarding the new warning for antidepressants given to kids. Lawyersweeklyusa.com isn't a free site, but this is a featured article so it will be free for a few days.

How To Cope And Deal With Your Loved One's Bipolar Disorder

Link: How To Cope And Deal With Your Loved One's Bipolar Disorder.

This is a course on how to live with BP. Curious if anyone has tried or if anyone has thoughts on the same. It costs $60, and I am curiuos if its really worth it or not. I guess I know I'm not manic, because I didn't sign up for it right off the bat. Let me stress, I am NOTrecommending this, I know nothing about it. I am curious if anyone has tried it or something similar.

Bipolar Disorder - manic depressive illness from diagnosis to medications

Link: Bipolar Disorder - manic depressive illness from diagnosis to medications.

Interesting BP community on the web, I am playing around looking at what they have to offer. Also they have a published chat schedule here:

Link: Bipolar Disorder Chat Calendar.

BocaNews.com

Link: BocaNews.com.

Not really BP, but I had to comment.

This type of stuff really angers me. Mental illness has a stigma because people try to legitimize mental weakness as an actual form of mental illness. If you are so sensitive you need therapy because a Republican or Democrat got elected fine, but don't publicize it. This isn't illness, it's just people who are easily upset (there is a difference). How dare the psychologists involved in these cases blast them across the papers. They are making real mental illness look like a joke, and it isn't.