BP Type II

Daily Log January 14, 2005

Wow what a week.  Well it looks like I am going to start my own business.  My partner and I are looking for financing and exploring the possibility of actually purchasing our own building.  It's really amazing when you consider I was contemplating suicide five months ago.  I think I'm getting better, and I think I can control this thing in my head.  I'm not getting cocky though, I realize I have to be on the lookout for cycles.

Daily Log 1/5/2005

I either have to be better about doing these, or quit calling them "daily."  I am still trying to be better about posting, please bare with me.

My wife and I are trying to pick up the financial pieces of my years of manic spending.  I'd welcome any advice anyone has (also if you want to just send money, drop me an e-mail and I'll send you payment information) about dealing with these issues after returning to reality.  I think we can get the mess cleaned up in about five years if we budget and work hard. 

By the way, the request for money is a joke.  Unless of course you really want to send me some.  I mean, who am I to stand in the way of your happiness?

Do Anti-Depressants Cause Suicide?

Recently my wife sent me this link about anti-depressants being linked to suicide.  The article it brings up a lot of good points, but never really addresses the fundamental issue: is this a case of causation or merely one of correlation?  There has been a great deal written on the increase in suicide incidents following the introduction of anti-depressants but little written on what other factors may be playing a role.

Daily Log 12/30/04

Well, 2004 is almost over, and good riddance.  The year has been a good one as far as my finally accepting my BP and taking steps to fight it.  But that was less than half of the year.  I spent a large portion of the year obsessed with past mistakes (one in particular) and fixated on the idea of killing myself.  Even with the progress I've made, I don't ever want to go through all of this again.

The Latest News Roundup

Here are a few links of interest regarding somewhat recent developments and/or news about BP:

New BP drug treatment

Heres a great way to deal with a budget shortfall.  Cut mental health services so you can wait and pay big bucks after someone has a complete breakdown or they do something that causes them to enter the criminal justice system:

Texas Cuts Mental Health Servi ces

I like this specialized approach to treatment.  Don't know if it could ever be dome in a smaller town (I live in one) though:

Tulsa Facility Specializes in Bipolar treatment

Do antidepressants really increase the risk of suicide?  Maybe BP kids are being misdiagnosed as suffering only from depression:

A bipolar diagnosis delayed, a childhood lost

This article cuts two ways.  You can say it limits the rights of the mentally ill (although I don't think it does because when you are in the midst of a mental illness you may not have the capacity to make decissions about treatment).  On the bright side you can say it forces the state to deal with and help sick people:

New law allows court-ordered treatment for mentally ill

If you are unlucky enogh to suffer from this illness (like me) treat it.  Take your meds, follow a healthy lifestyle and get to know what your triggers are.  If you don't you won't only hurt yourself, you'll hurt everyone who loves you:

George Rudder Jr. - George ended his own suffering from bipolar illness on Friday December 24

I don't konw if the program works, but she got in really good shape for Terminator II:

Terminator Star sets up self help program for fellow BP sufferers

Remember a long time ago when I talked about brain scans?  Well looks like the technology is real.  Now the question is should I try to get one?  I'm afraid of finding out that I'm not BP, I'm just weird:

Scans May Spot Bipolar Disorder

The medical industry is taking note.

BP: The Hidden Epidemic (Kansas City Nursing News)

Daily Log 12/25/04

Merry Christmas everyone, and here's hoping a stable holiday season for you.

I've had the chance to take stock of my life this Christmas, and all in all I am happy to report that it is pretty good.  I still have the BP battle to fight for the rest of my life but now I know why I am fighting it.  I am fighting it for me, for my wife and for my two little boys.  The fight is worth it, and it's one that I am capable of fighting.  These are things that I didn't know six months ago.  This new knowledge in and of itself is reason to be thankful.

Daily Log 12/21/04

Well, one more full day of work, then it's time to take off for Christmas celebrations with the family.  I really don't find the holiday season depressing.  I guess this is supposed to be the toughest time of year for someone who struggles with depression, but it's not for me.  If anything, this time of year acts as a pick-me-up for me.

Daily Log 12/20/04

Sorry for the pause again folks, the holiday season seems to be requiring a bit more time than I thought.  Also, I am still looking into the possibility of starting my own business with a friend here in town.  You put these two things together and it adds up to a huge time suck.  Still, I need to make time for the BLOG, it's really helpful to me to dissect my brain.  I actually get a sense of calm while posting, silly really, but if it works who am I to question, right?

Daily Log 12/13/04

Well, so far I am following through on my promise to start posting again on a daily basis.  True, it's only two days in a row, but you have to start somewhere right?

The big thing in life right now is my considering going into business for myself.  I went over the business plan with my wife tonight, and I think I gave her a pretty good scare.  It's a lot to think about and the level of risk is scary.

The Christmas Party

We hosted a Christmas party with way too many guests tonight.  All in all it was a rousing success.  There were 9 families at our house and I think everyone had a nice time.  There was just one incident.  I'm not sure if it was BP or just the natural reaction of a father, let me explain. . .