Daily Log 12/21/04

Well, one more full day of work, then it's time to take off for Christmas celebrations with the family.  I really don't find the holiday season depressing.  I guess this is supposed to be the toughest time of year for someone who struggles with depression, but it's not for me.  If anything, this time of year acts as a pick-me-up for me.

I am really looking forward to spending time with my family and watching my 3 year old son experience the first Christmas where he really understands all the stories we've been telling him, and keeps an eye out for Santa.  He's been talking for a week or two now about how we had to make sure that we left cookies out for Santa.

It's really nice.  I feel like this is the first Christmas where I actually get it.  I'm not excited in the least bit about the gifts that are awaiting me.  Instead, I'm really focused on three things:  First, I'm really happy I didn't kill myself this summer, sounds silly when said like that, but it's true.  Second, I was to watch my kids enjoy themselves, and see them experience the holiday for the first time.  Finally, I want to make the holiday as happy as possible for my grandfather, he's in his 80's and he's really had a rouge year health-wise.

It's funny really, but I think I've found a really effective way of avoiding BP triggers: being concerned about others.  This isn't fool proof, I still may slip into hypo-mania or depression, however, it's easier to stay away from depression when your first focus isn't completely on yourself.  If you don't have as much time to focus on your problems, you are less likely to blow them up into the crippling issues that they can become.

All in all, I'm approaching this Christmas from a very hopeful and positive perspective.  It's quite nice.  I'm looking forward to what's to come, but I'm not obsessed with it.

Oh, and on another positive note.  I now weigh 160 and holding.  That's almost 50 pounds lighter than I was 2 years ago.  Physically, I feel better than I have in years.  Mentally, I'm a lot better too.

Comments

[Kate]

John - You sound really good right now. I send to you the blessings of the season and all the very best for 2005! Take care of yourself. It sounds as though you have a lot to enjoy.

[Judy]

John,
Wonderful to hear you so positive.
I often wondered and said to my son, try to focus on others, help others more, but we never quite got there to the point that it made a significant difference. I always wondered if I expected too much from him.
Unfortunately, we knew very little about bipolar at that time.
We'd give it a thrashing now though, if it was possible.
I think you are on the right track with that thought of being concerned for others.

We all slip whoever we are.
I slip towards the food cupboard ! it's a case of being very aware and watching out for those triggers personal to me that finds me in the cupboard before I even know it.
I think that is where your support system is so important, they notice you slipping, maybe before you do.

I am flying off on Christmas Day, to be with our girls and grand children in the Uk.
I will be able to check in every now and again and see how things are with you and yours.
Have a wonderful Christmas, focusing on the here and now and enjoying every minute.
Thinking of you.

[thyroid]

positive thinking and staying positive is an imperative to enjoy life no matte what, or regardless of ....
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[thyroid]

it is also considered to be one of the primier importance and effective remedy fo BP is social network, socializing minimizing a negative effect significantly. Enjoy yourself and do it with other people.
About Myself:
Hypothyroidism http://www.ourthyroids.com hypothyroid symptoms, problems, treatments, diet, thyromine low thyroid underactive treatment.

[myambutol]

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[freeacc-q]

I just don't have much to say right now, but I guess it doesn't bother me. Basically nothing seems worth thinking about. Nothing notable happening these days. Shrug. Not that it matters. My mind is like a void. I've basically been doing nothing , not that it matters. More or less nothing going on. I guess it doesn't bother me. Not much on my mind.

[hobby]

I haven't been up to much , but I guess it doesn't bother me. Pfft. I just don't have much to say lately, but maybe tomorrow. Basically nothing seems worth doing.