Well, so far I am following through on my promise to start posting again on a daily basis. True, it's only two days in a row, but you have to start somewhere right?
The big thing in life right now is my considering going into business for myself. I went over the business plan with my wife tonight, and I think I gave her a pretty good scare. It's a lot to think about and the level of risk is scary.
I really believe in my heart of hearts that I can make my own business work and that it can provide a decent standard of living for my family. Of course my belief in my ability is rarely a problem (except in depressive episodes). The real question is why do I have this belief?
This is the crucial question to ask. Do I have this belief because this is a really good business opportunity or is it some other motivation? The way I see it, the primary negative motivating factors are: 1) mania or 2) ego.
I spent most of my session with my therapist last week talking about the first possibility. I am reasonably sure that I'm not manic. The second factor is a more complex question. It'd sure be cool to have my name on a business downtown. I'd like having my business account and personal account. I'd like owning a very very small office building (even if it's very very small it's still mine right?).
I can't say ego isn't playing a role in this. It'd be nice to have my own business. It would make me feel good about myself, and might even make me feel like a big shot.
However, I am also keenly aware of the risks posed. I have two little kids and a wife to support. If this ends up being a bad idea, I cause all of them a lot of pain, and throw a great deal of our lives into doubt.
When I weigh the risk factors facing me and my family, I get some confidence that this isn't a flight of fancy or an ego trip. I have too much to loose. Actually, it may be simply an ego trip. However, I know myself really well. If that's the case, I'll fold when I get to the point of no return.
I've taken these ego trips before, and when asked to put my money where my mouth is. If it's nothing but an ego trip, I chicken out. So guess I will keep you all posted on whether I back out. If I do, I'll know this wasn't a good idea.
Good thinking.
I wish you well with your decision making.
Nice to 'hear' you back.
Posted by: Judy | December 14, 2004 at 05:37 AM
Dear Friend,
Just by reading your postings I have gathered a strong, organized and detailed mind. I read in a business journal that it truly takes 3 years to get a start up going, running efficiently and actively penetrating a market. If you already see the opportunity, have a truly detailed business plan, submit it to a bank- see what THEY have to say =)
Regardless of your BPII, your BP1(business plan 1) could be what you need with in a flexible schedule, overload on work and providing for your family-
Let the bank weigh out the risks and then make your decision. I have submited two BP's and they have both been accepted. By the time I made MY decision the opportunity was lost due to competition- I thought I would share-
Jason
P.S. I am VERY glad to see you posting again, there are some good blogs out here in the wild wild web, though yours seems to keep me coming back-
Blessings to you and your family!
Oh, on your previous posting about the boy locking your son in the basement with the lights off.. you handled yourself EXTREMELY well- I would have went off the handle. Just remember his stunt next Halloween- plan something spicy- LOL
Posted by: Jason Dean | December 14, 2004 at 09:08 AM
Hey John,
Just wanted to say hi and thinking about you and yours.
Posted by: Judy | December 16, 2004 at 06:11 AM
I agree well versed into the subject and eloquient speaker, that what haped when you are trully familiar with the subject matter.
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